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How to get your own back at perennial rule breakers
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If someone keeps reading your newspaper over your shoulder, point the page in their direction as if you are making it easier for them to see. They’ll be so embarrassed they won’t do it again.

Another deterrent to over the shoulder paper readers is, if you have almost finished your paper anyway, fold it up and leave it on your lap.

How to get your own back at perennial rule breakers

Always carry tissues with you, if someone is sniffing offer them one. It will shame them so much that they will never forget tissues again.

How to get your own back at perennial rule breakersIf someone’s phone keeps going off, pretend to answer yours but say in an overly loud whisper in the mouthpiece ‘hi, sorry I didn’t answer straight away, my phone is on silent. Can I call you back, I’m on the tube and I don’t want to annoy the other passangers.

If someone is shrieking or shouting on the tube, cover your ears or rub your temples as if you have a headache – they’ll soon get the message.
If someone has their music on loud, sing along – they’ll soon turn it down.

If the person sitting next to you is a fidget or, better still, constantly searching through their bag, say ‘let me give you some more room until you find what you are looking for’ or something similar. Again, they are likely to find said item immediately!

If someone is eating on the tube, hold your nose! Or, if someone is sitting next to you eating, keep brushing off imaginary (or if it’s bad, real) crumbs. Perhaps they’ll think twice.

If someone is wearing high heels and treads on your foot, grimace and rub your foot repeatedly. Hopefully the offender will feel so bad they’ll wear flats next time. Or, if they are falling about all over the place – I’m thinking Central Line’s interesting ability to weave and jump about on the tracks – act as if you are being friendly and joke to them ‘bet you wish you’d worn flats now’, your point will be made in the disguise of a friendly comment.

If someone is on the phone and being loud, get the eye contact of as many people sitting around them and roll your eyes. I guarantee at least half of them will respond in the same way and smile – the offender is bound to notice this and you wont look like the only one annoyed – power and safety in numbers!

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